Coping with an eating disorder during the holiday season

For those experiencing an eating disorder or disordered eating, the holiday period can be a challenging time of the year.

Christmas and other holidays often revolve around meals out, food shared with family, friends and colleagues, exposure to fear foods, pressure to challenge food rules, less time for exercise, changes to routines and other challenging situations. Considering this, it’s understandable that you may experience some stress or anxiety over the holiday period. But remember, as scary as the holiday period can be, with the right strategies, it provides the opportunity to challenge the eating disorder and prove to yourself that you are capable of moving forward in recovery.

Consider your whys for wanting to join in the holiday celebrations

Try asking yourself, how do I want to remember this holiday period?

Zoom out to gain some perspective; a month from now, will you look back and wish you celebrated with your loved ones? I expect that part of your reason for wanting to recover is to truly live your life without being held back by your eating disorder.

It can be helpful to shift your focus away from the food involved in celebrating the holiday period.

Ask yourself what you’re grateful for during this time of the year.

• Do you love seeing the Christmas decorations,

• spending time with friends and family,

• watching Christmas movies or,

• singing along to Christmas tunes?

Whatever it is, try and soak that up this holiday period.

Managing food guilt

While in the moment you may be able to challenge fear foods and food rules, afterwards you may experience feelings of guilt.

If this happens, what can you do?

Most importantly, do not compensate by restricting your food moving forward or by any other means. Compensating will only serve to keep you trapped in the eating disorder. It may feel uncomfortable, but to move forward in your recovery, you need to push through feelings of guilt after eating.

I suggest having some mantras prepared and ready to recite to yourself, such as;

• 20 years from now I won’t remember what I ate today but I will remember a life trapped in an ED.

• Feeding my soul is just as important as feeling my body.

• Food is fuel for life.

• I am loved for so many reasons that have nothing to do with the size and shape of my body.

And while yes, in general, we tend to eat less nutritious food over the holiday period, there is so much more to food than the nutrients it provides.

Food provides a connection with others, a connection with culture, an expression of love, pleasure, joy, memories, celebration, etc. So, if you’re feeling guilty after eating a fear food or breaking a food rule, zoom out and consider the experience as a whole. And remember, no food is as bad for your health as an eating disorder, so challenge that eating disorder voice if it tries to tell you otherwise!

Don’t underestimate the power of distraction to help you cope while feelings of guilt subside.

After eating, try shifting your attention to other activities like watching a movie, listening to music or playing a board game with family or friends. Distraction helps to direct your attention away from, giving less power to those nasty eating disorder thoughts.

If possible, in the lead-up to the holiday period, I suggest preparing yourself by exposing yourself to some of the challenging situations you may face over the holiday. For example, if you want to join in and have Aunty Di’s famous Pavlova with everyone else on Christmas day, you could try eating Pavlova beforehand. I suggest exploring what this might look like with your treatment team or someone you trust.

Exercise

If the thought of taking a break from exercise feels terrifying that’s a pretty good indication that you’d benefit from taking an exercise break. Remember that your body needs rest to recover and repair.

Our bodies are constantly at work, behind the scenes, to support us and keep us alive. Energy is needed to keep our blood pumping, organs functioning, food digesting, etc. We need to show our bodies the same respect by taking care of them by prioritising sleep and rest, eating regularly and adequately, reducing stress, etc.

Despite what the eating disorder voice is telling you, you DO NOT need to earn your food or compensate for eating.

The vast majority of our energy intake is needed just to keep our bodies functioning throughout the day at complete rest. This is the energy used for temperature regulation, breathing, cell growth, blood circulation, etc. Energy is also required for unstructured or non-intentional movement e.g., fidgeting, climbing stairs, cooking, cleaning, etc. And what about the thermic effect of food, which is the energy required to ingest, absorb, metabolise, and store nutrients from the food we eat.

Taking an exercise break, and giving yourself a chance to rest is perfectly ok and healthy.

Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help.

Boundaries

Maintaining appropriate boundaries is essential in recovery. It can be helpful for friends and family to know what comments and topics you find unhelpful. Although it might seem obvious to you (e.g., no diet chat), we live in a society consumed by diet culture, so, unfortunately, it won’t always be obvious to others.

If you feel overwhelmed by this task, you could ask your loved ones to help you. Ask them to let other friends or family members know, to refrain from commenting on your body, appearance or food intake, and conversations about diets, weight, exercise or bodies.

Unfortunately, because diet culture is so pervasive, it can be hard to completely avoid diet chat. But you must prioritise your recovery by either walking away or changing the topic of conversation (when possible).

Be gentle with yourself and prioritise your needs.

Remember, Christmas is just one day of the year

Take the time to practise gratitude, celebrate your wins, rest when needed, acknowledge your feelings and take care of yourself. Make sure you’re checking in with yourself and using healthy coping strategies to manage difficult feelings that arise.

In preparation for the holiday period, make a list of coping strategies. Having a list to look over helps take some of the pressure off from needing to think of how to take care of yourself in the moments when you are struggling. You could try breathing exercises, reaching out to a supportive person, journaling, reading a book, cuddling your pet, or taking a relaxing bath.

Lean into the fun moments shared with loved ones. Be present, and practice living the life you’re working towards by choosing recovery. The eating disorder has already taken so much from you. You deserve to be able to truly live your life.