How to know if you have an eating disorder

Eating disorders are characterised by changes in behaviour, thoughts and attitudes to food, eating, weight or body shape, that negatively impact a person’s life.

The development of an eating disorder is multifactorial, arising from and maintained by a combination of biological, psychological and cultural risk factors. However, it is important to be aware that dieting is the single biggest predictor of the development of an eating disorder.

During my eating disorder, I convinced myself that my behaviours, thoughts and attitudes towards food, eating, exercise and my body were normal.

I told myself that I was focused on my health. But, if I’m being honest, deep down, I always knew there was a problem.

Lauren of Your Nourished Mind reading a book

The normalisation of disordered behaviours by diet culture allowed me to justify many of my behaviours, thoughts and attitudes towards food, eating, exercise and my body. However, a part of me would question; is it healthy to feel overwhelmed by anxiety after eating a “bad” food or skipping a workout? Is it normal to think about food constantly, study menus and meticulously plan all of your meals? Surely not?!

One of the first steps in my recovery journey involved being honest with myself and considering the intention behind my behaviours, thoughts and attitudes towards food, eating, exercise and my body.

Through this process, I learnt about diet culture and began to understand that just because a behaviour is normalised doesn’t make it healthy. It's not healthy for your relationship with food, movement, and your body is causing your anxiety, guilt, shame or stress.

The fact that you are here, reading this blog, tells me that something is wrong. Someone with a healthy relationship with food and their body doesn't question if they have a problem. You do not need to meet the diagnostic criteria of an eating disorder for your issues with food and your body to be valid. You deserve support and to live a meaningful life. I encourage you to read my blog, ‘when to get help for an eating disorder’.

*Please note that I am not a medical professional qualified to diagnose eating disorders. This information is based on my lived experience of recovering from an eating disorder and my professional experience of supporting others in my role as an ED Recovery Coach and Social Worker.

Warning signs that you or a loved one are experiencing an eating disorder

Not everyone will experience all the warning signs listed below. If your relationship with food is causing you anxiety, the simple absence of these warning signs does not imply a healthy relationship with food.

Dieting and eating behaviours:

  • Strict rules and rigidity around food. This can involve a combination of rules and rigidity around what to eat, when to eat, how much to eat and in what context to eat e.g., certain foods can only be eaten at certain times of the day.

  • Binge eating.

  • Closeted eating and hiding food.

  • Increased interest in food, particularly cooking for others, studying recipes or menus, watching ‘what I eat in a day’ videos on social media, etc.

  • Choosing to cook your own food rather than eat what others are eating.

  • Avoiding having others serve your food.

  • Denial of hunger and reported lack of appetite.

  • Eating very slowly or eating very quickly.

Social aspects:

  • Avoiding eating with others or only eating with others when pre-planned and ‘controlled’.

  • Becoming increasingly socially isolated often due to avoidance of social situations involving food and/or prioritising exercise over family and friends.

  • Loss of sense of humour.

  • Feelings of inadequacy.

  • Becoming withdrawn, less expressive and more preoccupied with food.

Exercising behaviours:

  • Increases in exercising (including incidental activity) or maintaining an exercise routine which is strict and rigid.

  • Continuing to exercise despite illness or injury.

  • Exercising purely to burn calories and/or “earn” food.

Obsessive behaviours:

  • Spending long hours studying with academic perfectionism or becoming a "workaholic".

  • Ritualised cleaning, tidying, organising, washing etc.

  • Frequently engaging in body checking behaviours.

Physical symptoms:

  • Decreased hormone levels, resulting in lowered sex drive, irregular menstruation or amenorrhea.

  • Gastrointestinal problems e.g., constipation, diarrhoea, cramps and gas.

  • Physical exhaustion and/or impaired sleep.

  • Feeling cold all the time.

  • Impaired cognitive functioning e.g., experiencing brain fog, reduced attention span, difficulty concentrating, preoccupation with food and inflexible thinking patterns.

When to get help for an eating disorder

Remember that an eating disorder is a mental health diagnosis. The vast majority of people with an eating disorder are not medically “underweight”. Despite what you may think, you cannot determine the severity of an eating disorder based solely on body shape and size, and the assumption that you can is a harmful stereotype.

Honestly, you will always be able to find an excuse not to get help. It will never be the ‘right’ time. It will always feel scary.

Don’t listen to the voice in your head telling you, “You’re not sick enough”. How sick do you need to get before taking action? Would you refuse to take antibiotics for an infection until the infection spread? I doubt it.

I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who felt 100% ready to start the recovery process by reaching out for help. So, stop putting it off until the ‘perfect’ time, as you’ll likely be waiting the rest of your life. And while I’ve never met anyone who felt 100% ready to recover, I can guarantee that I haven’t heard of anyone who has recovered and wished they’d delayed starting recovery.

I know that it’s hard because I’ve been where you are. But, living with an eating disorder is also hard, so you are capable of doing hard things.

What can coaches do about eating disorders?

As a Recovery Coach, I support clients to challenge and change their eating disorder thoughts and behaviours in the here-and-now. My work with clients is goal-orientated and present-focused. I share my lived experience of recovering from an eating disorder and the strategies that supported my recovery, to increase motivation and create hope that recovery is possible.

What I offer as a 1:1 Recovery Coach:

  • Support to improve body image. I practice from a weight-inclusive framework to help clients implement body acceptance.

  • Support identifying and challenging fear foods and food rules.

  • Support to challenge diet culture by helping clients question the normalisation of disordered behaviours that people in recovery may struggle to separate from.

  • Text and email support outside of sessions, allowing clients to be supported in the moments when they are struggling with eating disorder thoughts or urges.

  • Provide meal support and snack sessions (where appropriate).

  • Provide access to literature and educational materials so clients can continue working towards recovery in-between sessions.

  • Work collaboratively with the client and their treatment team. This involves setting goals in collaboration with the client and their treatment team and assisting clients in identifying and overcoming obstacles to achieve their treatment goals.

Who should I contact if I think I have an eating disorder?

Initial steps

If you’re questioning whether you’re “sick enough”, the likelihood is that you are.

Someone with a healthy relationship with food and their body wouldn't question if they have a problem. Don’t wait until you’re “sick enough” to start the recovery process.

Eating disorder recovery requires acting before you’re ready. If you wait until you’re 100% ready to recover then the reality is, you’ll likely be waiting the rest of your life.

I remember how terrified I felt to reach out to my partner for support, as at the time, I’d only just admitted to myself that my behaviours were disordered. In hindsight, I think it would have been helpful to first speak with a helpline specialising in eating disorders such as, Butterfly National Helpline.

In the midst of my eating disorder, I was in complete denial. Consequently, I completely avoided reading or listening to any eating disorder related content. Once I’d accepted that I had a problem, I couldn’t get enough of hearing about other people's lived experience of eating disorder recovery. Knowing that there were others out there who had been through a similar experience and were now living a healthy and happy life helped me to feel less alone and gave me motivation and hope.

If you need some recommendations of Instagram accounts, YouTube channels or podcasts to follow, reach out to Your Nourished Mind.

Reach out for help

It is important that you reach out to a GP who can monitor your physical health and provide you with an Eating Disorder Plan (EDP). In Australia, an EDP will allow you to access professional support at a subsidised rate.

If you do not meet the full diagnostic criteria for an eating disorder, please do not delay getting support. Clients of Your Nourished Mind do not need to have an eating disorder diagnosis to access support from an Eating Disorder Recovery Coach. I work with people all along the disordered eating spectrum and recognise the detrimental impact that disordered eating can have on someone's life.

You deserve help regardless of where you fall on the disordered eating spectrum.

I also encourage you to reach out to a family member or friend that you trust and, if you need, can support you with the process of reaching out for professional help.

Lauren Franzon-Rafter

Lauren is a qualified Social Worker with experience working in the mental health sector in Western Australia. Her lived experience of recovering from an eating disorder has driven her to support others on their recovery journey. After gaining accreditation as an Eating Disorder Recovery Coach through the Carolyn Costin Institute, Lauren established Your Nourished Mind, a health service focused on providing one-on-one practical support for those suffering from disordered eating and diagnosed eating disorders.

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